A Different Manifestation

by Amateur Chemist

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    In a jewel case with 12-page booklet.

    Includes unlimited streaming of A Different Manifestation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days

      $6 USD

     

1.
05:06
2.
3.
4.
03:52
5.
03:12
6.
7.
04:28
8.
05:31
9.
10.
(free) 08:03
11.
06:21
12.
04:59

credits

released October 18, 2016

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Amateur Chemist

The most in-depth side-project.

contact / help

Contact Amateur Chemist

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Mentality
My philosophy wants to steal my ecstasy
It's unnatural, the apathy
My philosophy is that life's a tragedy
It's unnatural, the apathy

I've had a little too much to think
I'm sorry I'm not sorry
I've had a little too much to think
Reality's gone blurry

I am forever my own saboteur
I am forever my own saboteur
I am forever my own saboteur
I'm aware------and my head it spins

And I hope I expire

I could get well
But I won't stop
Drawing despair
I'm addicted to a mentality
I could get well
So I should start
Saying a prayer
Otherwise it could be a catastrophe

(I'll believe in something)
(I'll believe in you)
Track Name: Comfort in My Own
God, how many times I've failed
To answer to the casting call
Callous, complacent, and simply
Content in the precious comfort I have in my own

Selfish existence

Callous
Complacent
Quite simply
Content here

I was thinking maybe I should step outside and become a proper witness
Venture farther and become just like my father
Excursions for conversions to convergence of these persons
But I'm so prone to linger on this lexical lacuna
That I never even opened the door

Called me out to follow but
I was so comfortable
In my house, comfort in my own
Called me to disciple but
I was so comfortable
In my house, comfort in my own

Cast me into the depths
Within the very heart
Of the seas
Make currents swirl about me
As I'm surrounded by the deep
Lead me

If we are left to our own devices we're condemned
And in the end we are the faces of the damned

Our devotion promises
Fisher of men
Voice of the voiceless

Lack of motion silences
Do you pretend to comprehend
the life once lived?

I won't stay comfortable
Track Name: Vacant Backyard
And in the afternoon
Among the same cartoons
She washed away from us
But would you notice this?

It falls apart
Mirrors her heart

Days, they seem the same
But who's not here with us?
Things you can't reclaim
But sense the remnants of

(The thoughts are piercing through my head like this)

A glimpse inside of her
Employed as a voyeur
Greeting the fragments left
In a vacant backyard

Desolate and abandoned center
That I am praying my own soul won't imitate, and retrograde
To stay sane, we maintain the charade these days

Still, she dies all alone this time
Still, we lie to ourselves inside

And one abandoned soul;
I've recognized but still it dies alone
And our abandoned souls
It's our life

(Still piercing through my head like...)
Track Name: Puchu
And you resolve now, to follow
You don't question now if the words are hollow
And I resolve now to be the one to

Renegade to educate you

It's not right that you believe
in everything they had advised
It's not right when you believe
In everything that's unverified

Your soul's at stake, and still you wait on them.
Your soul's at stake, and still you're bowing down.
Track Name: She Seems So
And I see now
Past the veil
Fallacious glow
Disabled

She seems so beautiful
But she wasn't at all

And I see now
Past the veil
And what was shown
Won't prevail
Track Name: Occupational Existential Nihilism
Now I'm destroyed
Life has murdered me inside
And took both my eyes
That would dream
Visions of greater things
So

My bitter
heart is beckoning
This world to bring its reckoning
Now that I'm past the illusion
I'm drowning with the weight of confusion

And so, when I die
On the greatest day of my life
We can delight
In this thing
Because the architect and I are in sync

And should you grieve
The decease
Despite these things I preach
The circle of woe is propelled on the winds
Of the somber sighs you breath in despair

It's proven we have been deceived
Age of peril unforeseen
I'm just trying now to leave
But I cant, but I can't
That's why
Track Name: Transparency
I stand invisible
In the spotlight
Imperceptible
To the one whom
I am fixated

And what procedure or complex surgery
Can I afford to make my frame more opaque?
So you'll see me

And in the midst of my greatest night you were
Glancing 'round the room avoiding eye contact with me
And the saddest thing for me is to feel like I'm not being seen
And in the center of the spotlight
I'm thinking you'd rather be here looking at another guy
Resembling nothing, nothing in me at all

Would my hands pass through
Like your eyes do
If I reached to touch you?

My transparent soul
That you entomb
It won't be refused

And I'll beg you, yeah, I will
Look at me like I look at you
'Cause I need somebody else to appreciate my existence and
Blah blah blah blah blah....
Track Name: Girl
Oh, to be cliche
But this is not an axiom, it must be proclaimed
And so what, if this is how I choose to say

It's all that I wanted
It's all that I wanted and more

Girl, you know me best
So I hope you don't believe me when I say
It's whatever
You know me better than that

Girl, you know me best
So I hope you don't believe me when I say
We're whatever
Some things I'll never admit

Let's stay special
Let's ride out on this road to nowhere
Build a home in the desert ocean

You're precious you know
You're precious you know
I stole this part from Foxing/I stole this song from Bosa
Just for our amusement/But you wouldn't notice

And you're breathless
And I believe
We will remain here

It's all that I wanted
It's all that I wanted and more
You're all that I wanted You're all that I wanted
You're all that I wanted and more

Girl you know me best
Something I had to admit
Track Name: The Worst Type of Parasite
Deep subconscious wells of many faces that I know
sink me closer to the many feelings I don't show

Infecting these latent memories of futures
we haven't lived yet, but inhabit together. Oh,

I see your face in my dreams
The feelings we could not sustain
Now your face is just haunting me
Please just stay in your lane

My eyes are glued to the screen
I'm staring only in disdain
Now your face is still haunting me
Please, just stay in your lane

Deep subconscious wells of many faces that I know
sink me closer to the many feelings I don't show

Extracting my slumber and tranquil contentment
If I could dissolve you, the pain would diminish.

It seems you have become, because of my iniquity
An albatross
My albatross

Please just stay (away)
We're done
I'm done.
Track Name: Please Come Back
These days I've no receipt
Because I can't return the ring
And there I contemplate
Why I'm widowed and she's carefree

And now that it's over
It's not what I prefer
And now that we're over
I'm crying out for her

And if you don't believe me
Then maybe I should go
But I'm holding onto something
I'm hoping that you'll show

I still reciprocate
The feelings that she threw away
Now living here betrayed
I never will accept the change

She is all that I wanted
She is all that I need and more

You missed the show and
You still had work the morning of
It's like you planned your treason

You missed the show when
I paid the price the month before
I spent that night alone

Though I am just a man
I'm doing all I can
But I may never be
The person of your dreams

I miss your crimson hair
And your naivety
This ain't no love affair
This is the realest thing

Miss your celestial eyes
That make my fears subside
And those eyeliner wings
I'm missing everything

I wanna hold you tight
But you're not listening
You set this heart alight
So come back to me, please

I'm crying out for her

And if you don't believe me
Then baby you should know
I'm holding onto something
.......to something
Track Name: SHoK
Stray hairs of Krimson
Lingering around
I try forgetting
But they're begging to be found
Delighful memories

Stray hairs of Krimson
I must incinerate
Condemn the car and
Your precious DNA
On my upholstery
Blaze

I've been trying to forget you
I've been trying to forget you
I've been trying to forget you had been

My mind in mayhem
Venture to the house
That ghost of Krimson
Begs to be left alone
These haunting memories

My life in mayhem
Dissolving in the sea
Of tribulation
That's weighing down on me
That sorrow so surreal

I'll keep trying to forget you
I'll keep trying to forget you
I'll keep trying to forget we began

Coronary spell makes
Cerebral wounds
I'm falling out
And I may never make it back from this

I had ascended to the stage
In the back seat of a silver jalopy
With prudent passion on display
An alligator taught you how to weep

I've been tryin', I've been tryin', I've been tryin' to forget you
An alligator taught you how to weep