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A Different Manifestation

by Amateur Chemist

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1.
Mentality 05:06
My philosophy wants to steal my ecstasy It's unnatural, the apathy My philosophy is that life's a tragedy It's unnatural, the apathy I've had a little too much to think I'm sorry I'm not sorry I've had a little too much to think Reality's gone blurry I am forever my own saboteur I am forever my own saboteur I am forever my own saboteur I'm aware------and my head it spins And I hope I expire I could get well But I won't stop Drawing despair I'm addicted to a mentality I could get well So I should start Saying a prayer Otherwise it could be a catastrophe (I'll believe in something) (I'll believe in you)
2.
God, how many times I've failed To answer to the casting call Callous, complacent, and simply Content in the precious comfort I have in my own Selfish existence Callous Complacent Quite simply Content here I was thinking maybe I should step outside and become a proper witness Venture farther and become just like my father Excursions for conversions to convergence of these persons But I'm so prone to linger on this lexical lacuna That I never even opened the door Called me out to follow but I was so comfortable In my house, comfort in my own Called me to disciple but I was so comfortable In my house, comfort in my own Cast me into the depths Within the very heart Of the seas Make currents swirl about me As I'm surrounded by the deep Lead me If we are left to our own devices we're condemned And in the end we are the faces of the damned Our devotion promises Fisher of men Voice of the voiceless Lack of motion silences Do you pretend to comprehend the life once lived? I won't stay comfortable
3.
And in the afternoon Among the same cartoons She washed away from us But would you notice this? It falls apart Mirrors her heart Days, they seem the same But who's not here with us? Things you can't reclaim But sense the remnants of (The thoughts are piercing through my head like this) A glimpse inside of her Employed as a voyeur Greeting the fragments left In a vacant backyard Desolate and abandoned center That I am praying my own soul won't imitate, and retrograde To stay sane, we maintain the charade these days Still, she dies all alone this time Still, we lie to ourselves inside And one abandoned soul; I've recognized but still it dies alone And our abandoned souls It's our life (Still piercing through my head like...)
4.
Puchu 03:52
And you resolve now, to follow You don't question now if the words are hollow And I resolve now to be the one to Renegade to educate you It's not right that you believe in everything they had advised It's not right when you believe In everything that's unverified Your soul's at stake, and still you wait on them. Your soul's at stake, and still you're bowing down.
5.
She Seems So 03:12
And I see now Past the veil Fallacious glow Disabled She seems so beautiful But she wasn't at all And I see now Past the veil And what was shown Won't prevail
6.
Now I'm destroyed Life has murdered me inside And took both my eyes That would dream Visions of greater things So My bitter heart is beckoning This world to bring its reckoning Now that I'm past the illusion I'm drowning with the weight of confusion And so, when I die On the greatest day of my life We can delight In this thing Because the architect and I are in sync And should you grieve The decease Despite these things I preach The circle of woe is propelled on the winds Of the somber sighs you breath in despair It's proven we have been deceived Age of peril unforeseen I'm just trying now to leave But I cant, but I can't That's why
7.
Transparency 04:28
I stand invisible In the spotlight Imperceptible To the one whom I am fixated And what procedure or complex surgery Can I afford to make my frame more opaque? So you'll see me And in the midst of my greatest night you were Glancing 'round the room avoiding eye contact with me And the saddest thing for me is to feel like I'm not being seen And in the center of the spotlight I'm thinking you'd rather be here looking at another guy Resembling nothing, nothing in me at all Would my hands pass through Like your eyes do If I reached to touch you? My transparent soul That you entomb It won't be refused And I'll beg you, yeah, I will Look at me like I look at you 'Cause I need somebody else to appreciate my existence and Blah blah blah blah blah....
8.
Girl 05:31
Oh, to be cliche But this is not an axiom, it must be proclaimed And so what, if this is how I choose to say It's all that I wanted It's all that I wanted and more Girl, you know me best So I hope you don't believe me when I say It's whatever You know me better than that Girl, you know me best So I hope you don't believe me when I say We're whatever Some things I'll never admit Let's stay special Let's ride out on this road to nowhere Build a home in the desert ocean You're precious you know You're precious you know I stole this part from Foxing/I stole this song from Bosa Just for our amusement/But you wouldn't notice And you're breathless And I believe We will remain here It's all that I wanted It's all that I wanted and more You're all that I wanted You're all that I wanted You're all that I wanted and more Girl you know me best Something I had to admit
9.
Deep subconscious wells of many faces that I know sink me closer to the many feelings I don't show Infecting these latent memories of futures we haven't lived yet, but inhabit together. Oh, I see your face in my dreams The feelings we could not sustain Now your face is just haunting me Please just stay in your lane My eyes are glued to the screen I'm staring only in disdain Now your face is still haunting me Please, just stay in your lane Deep subconscious wells of many faces that I know sink me closer to the many feelings I don't show Extracting my slumber and tranquil contentment If I could dissolve you, the pain would diminish. It seems you have become, because of my iniquity An albatross My albatross Please just stay (away) We're done I'm done.
10.
Please Come Back (free) 08:03
These days I've no receipt Because I can't return the ring And there I contemplate Why I'm widowed and she's carefree And now that it's over It's not what I prefer And now that we're over I'm crying out for her And if you don't believe me Then maybe I should go But I'm holding onto something I'm hoping that you'll show I still reciprocate The feelings that she threw away Now living here betrayed I never will accept the change She is all that I wanted She is all that I need and more You missed the show and You still had work the morning of It's like you planned your treason You missed the show when I paid the price the month before I spent that night alone Though I am just a man I'm doing all I can But I may never be The person of your dreams I miss your crimson hair And your naivety This ain't no love affair This is the realest thing Miss your celestial eyes That make my fears subside And those eyeliner wings I'm missing everything I wanna hold you tight But you're not listening You set this heart alight So come back to me, please I'm crying out for her And if you don't believe me Then baby you should know I'm holding onto something .......to something
11.
SHoK 06:21
Stray hairs of Krimson Lingering around I try forgetting But they're begging to be found Delighful memories Stray hairs of Krimson I must incinerate Condemn the car and Your precious DNA On my upholstery Blaze I've been trying to forget you I've been trying to forget you I've been trying to forget you had been My mind in mayhem Venture to the house That ghost of Krimson Begs to be left alone These haunting memories My life in mayhem Dissolving in the sea Of tribulation That's weighing down on me That sorrow so surreal I'll keep trying to forget you I'll keep trying to forget you I'll keep trying to forget we began Coronary spell makes Cerebral wounds I'm falling out And I may never make it back from this I had ascended to the stage In the back seat of a silver jalopy With prudent passion on display An alligator taught you how to weep I've been tryin', I've been tryin', I've been tryin' to forget you An alligator taught you how to weep
12.
Reprise 04:59

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released October 18, 2016

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