Deprived of Pleasure: A Remastered Selection

by Amateur Chemist

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A compilation album featuring remastered and reworked versions of previous songs.

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released January 27, 2015

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Amateur Chemist

The most in-depth side-project.

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Track Name: Simplicity (Remaster)
And to your face I'd like to say
That on this day I feel okay
Because I woke and saw your face
And though it's the same as yesterday
I couldn't live without it
I couldn't live without you

And this simplicity
What is this feeling
That has come over me
I send a letter
It sends a reply back
No time for questions
This is all that we have

What do you know
Oh love it grows
I feel it so
Our Love it grows

And if the days were all the same
I think that I'd still be amazed
Because your face would stay the same
And i could see it everyday
I couldn't live without it
I couldn't live without you

And if there's just one thing to say
I'd speak the words that call your name
And I would be with you always
I promise that we'll never change
I couldn't live without it
I couldn't live without you

And this simplicity
What is this feeling
That has come over me
I send a letter
It sends a reply back
No time for questions
this is all that we have

What do you know
Oh love it grows
I feel it so
Our love it grows
And fading time
It just has to rhyme
To keep the flow
Our love it grows

Things you just can't keep inside
Or be denied so I'll devise
An explanation for it all
While still enthralled
Track Name: Psychosexual (Remaster)
And despite everything I try
I'm lost in an endless cycle

I've slipped over and over again
Into rotation

I wish to rise up out of it
How can I escape what's in my head?

Have I lost it?
I'm not lost yet

I feel it all in my heart
Which has been cursed by my mind

So I have come to realize
It must die
Track Name: Sadder Than I've Ever Been Before (Remaster)
It's not alright
This inner strife
And this won't take too long
And this is my pity song

You'd buy me lunch
But I wasn't fun
At least not according to you
And I am not magnificent

Do I make you upset?
Do I make you wish you were somewhere else?
Do I make you upset?
Well in time I will

And with all you've said
I might lose my head
And sink into anguish
Despair in all of this

You'd buy me lunch
But I wasn't fun
At least not according to you
And all this love
What had it become?

Do I make you upset?
Do I make you wish you were somewhere else?
Do I make you upset?
Well by now I do

I'm sadder than I've ever been before
I'm sadder than I've ever been before
But still we're no closer to a cure
And all the things I thought I knew for sure

I'm sadder than I've ever been before (you know I'm sad)
I'm sadder than I've ever been before (you know I'm sad)
And while you pick the pieces off the floor (of all I am)
I'm sadder than I've ever been before (you know I'm sad)
Track Name: I Lied, I'm an Alcoholic (Remaster)
I think I think too much
And in thought I do get lost
But I'm sure to kill myself off
But first one thing must be done, now

I'll use these thoughts as a weapon
Erasing remnants of your existence
I'll light up every airport
using every ounce of liquor
you intend to pour

Yes I am like this all the time
And I cannot be intimate when I'm having thoughts like this I can't get rid

So please don't make this harder
Than it has
To be your screams
Are safe with me
And hopefully
It won't hurt too
Much for you my precious sweet
Dream
That burns so beautifully//To kill this fantasy

This life I have dreamt up
In which I am not gaunt
A life taken, yours is so short
Delusions move back and forth, now

You live your life like a vector
Infecting everything that you feed off
Into my mind an enigma
Confirmation of a chimera
But I'm not so sure


Only in your death can I resume my life
Only in your death
Only when your dead
Track Name: Try So Hard (Remaster)
If I said you were my style
Would you give me a chance?
One chance?

And now my mind's decisive and I feel lucid
in this waking dream and I'm not falling back a asleep

Just to prove to you
I'm worth it
But you've already gone and left

And so I'm asking "what?"
What does a man have to do?
What does a man have to do
to get to you?
And after all I've tried to be
I have to accept you won't be a part of me

You would smile and say "hello".
So I then took the bait. Okay.
But now you have gone astray
You won't be coming back to me

I try so hard

Not everything works out
Not everything works out, and I know
I will scream it aloud
When my heart breaks down

And this, just let this commence
Cuz this is where it ends

And now I wonder why
I try so hard
And now I wonder why
I try so hard

Thinking back on all the things you said
You know that it meant everything to me
Thinking back on all the things you said
Now you're not there

Not everything works out but this
I know without a doubt
It will, oh it will
Track Name: Bigger (Remaster)
I will be bigger. I'm not ashamed.
I will be bigger. I'm not ashamed.

They push me over and over and over and over and over now
Over and over and over and over and over now
Over and over and over and over and over now
Over and over and over and over and over

Back down to be told
I can have everything that's been laid out in their plan
But what is mine?
Can I decide?

Back down and behold
You're not with me
You're doubting me and everything
I've worked so hard to achieve
I've worked so hard

Back down no
I won't back down no
Back down no
I won't back down

And if they want to see me smiling
Just let me be
And if they think that they're just helping
Then they will see

And what is right for you, I say
May not be right for me
And what I've been writing about
It's all I've got

And everything you once had told me
All proved to be a fantasy to keep me in line, steady
On a path you had created
I won't have that

....simply lost himself
Track Name: In Shades of Grey (Remaster)
Time is fading in and out now
I'm pulling at my eyes now
Disrepair while I stare
Here

My head is not quite there
It feels like mal de mer
My head is not quite there
And what's the point right here?

My abhorrent expression
And slow degeneration
Paint my face in shades of grey
Wait

Show my mind unto the chosen
Though in time it will be broken
I feel peeled back
To the color of red

Yeah I'll show this
I'm open wide
Yeah I'll show this
I'm open wide

I don't know this
I don't know this
I said that I don't know this
You know that I don't know this
Track Name: Bed (Remaster)
He left and he rests forever
Life can't be pieced back together

And what I left there: Heart
All my love

It's hard for me to lie down
'Cuz I've been too afraid
I'd fall asleep in your grave
Now

It's alright that I sit here alone
It's alright, oh that you had to go

I woke and to my surprise
Birth and death can coincide
But bodies I have not seen
Faint claims that they're underneath


Recall recall the faces now
Recall just where you placed it
Recall recall the faces now

Recall recall the faces now
And don't mistake it for someone else
The things you keep in memory

It's alright that you're gone
I'm alright without anyone
To catch me when I fall
And forever I am strong
'Cause you still lie beside me when I wake at night
And I can feel you there as I say my prayers, always


...simply lost himself
Track Name: A Mixed Episode (Remaster)
Staring at myself in the wall I find
Staring at myself I find
If I stare and think about my own dark design
I will surely lose my mind

Muscle build and muscle break
I don't know how much I can take of this then I'm
Diving back into myself 'cause this place it feels like hell
and now

Now I'm found
Sitting here I break down
And now I know
This is what I need please

Doubting morals I'll break the world my will
Is to run from the vigil
But if time would cease - time try to stand still
Then time I would rebuild

And I'm trying to
I'm still trying to
I'm still trying for answers

And I'm trying to
I'm still trying to
I'll be trying forever

And that's what we can
And that's what we can
And that's what we can do
And that's what we can
The best that we can
That's the best we can do
Track Name: Aspiration (Remaster)
These notions
Imbue them
Conception
appear
Step out of
Sedation
Face all of
my fears

To be so young
And think so much
and Lose yourself
To something else

I see that he's lost himself to
Simply decorate somewhere on his walls
That picture of me has died

Distortion of mirror image
Picture is not what it used to be
The dream has died alone

Alternate
Dimension
A future
Of me
In his face
Haphazard
What remains
Of me
================================
Release the vice that grips you down
Erase the time you've spent being so down
Or everyday will be just like the next
Would you stay still in time?

Would you stay the same?
Would you stay the same like
Would you stay the same like you
always do?

Don't stay the same
Don't stay the same or
Every day will be just like the next
Don't you stay the same in time
Track Name: In Pursuit (Remaster)
For so long
We've been climbing up so strong
With no doubt
That we'd reach the top somehow

And if we never
get better and better
We're in this together
Forever and ever

We push forward but you
Cannot stand to let us prove
Let us prove what we can do
Let us prove what we can do

Take a risk
Don't shut this down yet, we insist
Like the lion
We will unendingly persist

And if we never
get better and better
We're in this together
Forever and ever

We push forward but you
Cannot stand to let us prove
Let us prove what we can do
Let us prove what we can do
Like the lion pursues
And the darkness consumes
Let us prove that we can too
Let us prove what we can do


Challenging everything
Til our last breath we're pushing forward
Every day, dismantling
To be in pursuit of something greater
Track Name: Departure (Remaster)
This changes ways
This changes life
This changes ways
This changes life
This changes ways
This changes life
This changes ways
When you went away

I knew not what to do now, alone
I'm guessing it's what happens to you
And 20 years of this that I've been through
Is enough to ease a mind and thoughts of you

This changes ways
This changes life
I wish you'd stay
Wish i was right
And changing fate
With every night
This changes ways
When you went away

And then I reach inside my chest
Where feelings once had laid repressed
Remnants of faltering me
for once accepted
But why'd it take as long as this?

And then the weight behind my eyes
Recedes, succumbing to the mind
With each departure an arrival thus begins

My heart in my hands